Somebody dropped a dime

I'm often asked about the weirdest thing I've seen in pee. This is the weirdest in awhile. The evil sister that found it said " I didn't know we got tips!"

My first reaction : I hope someone didn't pass that.
My second reaction : I hope they don't need to make a phone call.
And no, this will not eliminate drugs from your pee. It will just make people laugh at you.



-- Post From My iPhone

Madonna and Child Zombie Doll and other Fabulousness!

So I'm super excited about tons of things this week. On Sunday I finished and listed my Zombie Madonna and Baby Jesus. I'm so happy with how she turned out!

In other more exciting news, Erin over at Somnambulant interviewed me for her blog! If you're not sick of me going on and on about pee yet, check it out here. If you're not already following her blog, then you should be. I'm convinced its the only thing worth reading.

Pauls band played at the Rock It room on Saturday night. Before the show we stopped over at LovedtoDeath's retail store on Haight Street. My late birthday present from Paul? I could pick out anything I wanted (squee!) After milling about and whining for ages because I couldn't decide, I settled on this.

I've been a huge fan of theirs for ages and it was so great to get to meet them in person. Audra and Brennan are delightful. I don't think I could ever own enough of their jewelry.

The show itself was pretty fun, a pretty big crowd. I'm convinced the cider must have been non alcoholic as I had 3 with no effects other than having to struggle continuously with my outfit from having to pee so many times.

Now I've got a long ass work week ahead of me. Anything exciting going on with you guys?

An update

Just so you guys know...Lula is freakin fine. She's like an old tank. As long as she gets fed she really doesn't give much of a crap about anything else.

So I called my friend Shannon yesterday morning (well, it was noon) to let her know I wasn't dead. She hadn't even listened to her voicemail from me! Even though I had called 3 times at 12:30 am. So now I know who not to call if I'm getting chased by an axe murderer through the woods some night when my car breaks down on my way home from work.

How I spent my Friday Night

It totally sucked ass. After a particularly grueling week at work, I was looking forward to a light Friday and an early night. Paul was going bowling with some friends from work, so I was thinking I would catch up on my So You Think You Can Dance episodes and maybe squeeze some crafting in. We are super short handed at work. 4 people in my department on Maternity leave, 2 scheduled off, 1 on family leave, and then someone calls in sick and somebody else goes home early and we're totally efffed. Theres only 20 or so of us to start with. Same amount of work, just less people to do it. So I drag my ass out of there at 10:30 and make it home by 11. My arms and hands are killing me and I'm pretty sure my tendinitis is coming back with a vengeance. I send Paul an email while still in my car (to avoid the pokey time chaos) letting him know that I got home safely. I let the dogs and the cat (she runs outside and pees with the dogs then runs back in. Its the weirdest thing I've ever seen) out to pee while I start getting their food ready. I feed Sammy and Oni and Lemon, but Lula hasn't come back in yet and I hear a weird thumping from outside. I go out looking for her and I can hear her, but not see her. She has gotten lost coming back into the house and took a wrong turn and is now stuck between the wall of our bedroom and the hot tub. I didn't take a picture, but I just now drew a diagram on my dear, dear friend paint so yall can get the direness of the situation.

Lula is blind/diabetic/senile/elderly/mildly retarded. Any other dog would back out the way they came in. Not her. She's no quitter. She kept barrelling forward until she was jammed in there like a cork.

After assessing the scene and trying to get her to follow the sound of my voice to back out, I figured I would just get the broom and sort of sweep her out. She wouldn't budge. The space is only 6 inches wide at the widest point so there was no way I could fit back in there. I tried laying on top of the hot tub and scooting her with the broom. No luck. And now shes starting to howl. Its about 11:30. Paul calls. He just got my email. I'm panicking at this point and tell him about the stuck dumb ass.

"did you try scooting her out with a broom?" I guess we think alike.

So he says he's on his way home, but he's two hours away. In the mean time, I'll need to drain the hot tub. By myself. In the dark and its freakin freezing. So I start doing that. In my mind I'm trying to invent some kind of dog lasso so I can at least drag her out by one leg. Maybe if I grease her up some, she'll just pop free? So I dump at least 2 cups of olive oil on her back as much of it as I can reach. I try the broom again. She's howling like crazy and Paul calls back.

"someone said try bacon grease"

I told him I had already tried that. He's laughing his ass off. I don't blame him. I would have too, if I wasn''t the one all wet and freezing.

He's still driving. An hour and forty minutes to go. I start bailing water out of the hot tub with a bucket to make the process go faster. I'm hoping that if I can get it empty, I can move it the 1 and 3/4 inches to get her out.

Its about midnight. The asshole neighbor opens his door and screams "what the hell is going on out here?!" I'm not sure if he meant the wailing dog or the crashing of buckets of water. I say all snotty "sorry, my dog is stuck!" He goes back in and slams the door.

I'm trying to keep her quiet. The water is almost gone and this thing must way at least 800 pounds and its not moving an inch. I'm lying on the corner with my hand jammed down the crack petting her head. I try calling my friend Shannon to see if her and her husband can come and help, but shes not picking up her phone. I'm whispering now, so as not to disturb the asshole..."call me back, I need help!"

Lula starts licking the olive oil off my hand and she's at least being quiet. I run inside and get the peanut butter. It's 12:30. Paul keeps calling me to let me know how much longer it will be before he gets home. So I huddle down on the wet cement on the outside edge and let her lick peanut butter off me for an hour until he gets there. By the time he shows up, I'm totally numb and have just been liberally applying peanut butter to the wall. We try moving it together with no luck. Then he comes up with some crazy plan involving leverage, a board and a furniture dolly.

We're standing on the dolly while he jumps on the board to try and wedge it up. It moves an inch. He tries again and the board snaps but the fat ass has managed to free herself and is just standing there looking at us like WE'RE retarded. God damn, I was so relieved. I put her in the shower and scrubbed all the crap off of both of us. I totally hate peanut butter.

But I did get to watch my show after Paul fell asleep at 3 am. Nice.

It's for a good cause

So one of my favorite people that I've never met in real life is my dark-side team mate, Erin. Her Etsy shop, Somnambulant, kicks so much ass. She also writes the greatest blog ever.

She is doing Blogathon 2009. She has to blog every half hour for 24 hours. This Saturday! People pledge donations to her charity. Donations of $10 and up get super sweet incentives from her. To read her post about it, her charity and how to donate, click here .

My personal favorite post of hers that made me laugh until I peed a little is this one

Bullying, Chooch and Mommy style

So please check it out. Oh, and here's a picture of a mummified cat.

Danko Jones

kate8085 and I have a common bond. The love of the Freakin greatest band ever Danko Jones.

If you don't know about Danko, I forgive you. They're Canadian and tour in Europe alot. I was lucky enough to see them in a tiny bar in Nashville in 2005. No one there knew who they were, even though they were headlining. By the time they went on stage, everyone was gone except for us and a couple of people that were too drunk to drive home.

I saw him walking around they bar while the other bands were playing. I swear I squealed. I was so starstruck. Paul teased me relentlessly.

It is to this day, the greatest show I've ever seen in my life. They played like they were playing a huge stadium packed full of screaming topless bitches.

After the show, we wandered around til I got the balls up to ask them to autograph my "Born a Lion" cd. And then Paul took my picture with Danko. I remember he was very sweaty. And polite.

So check them out at http://www.dankojones.com/ . They've got an American release of "Never Too Loud" coming out soon. Of course I buy them from some crazy international site and got it over a year ago. Cause I can't wait for my Danko.

Go on itunes, buy the "We Sweat Blood" album and rock out to "Forget my Name".

Cause thats my jam, bay-buh.

Contest winner Revisited

So Ruth got her package yesterday and was kind enough to blog about it! Here is the linky link

http://sweetbutnotsours-creations.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-was-winner-over-at-mrs-evils-blog.html

In other news, my eye is still jacked up. I am a sad panda.