Saying Goodbye to the girls

I know its been a really long time since I've been around. Same sad story. Work, work, work. While I can't really get into specifics about the work front, I can say that my tendinitis is back and worse than ever. Its been a little over a month and no real improvement or advancement in my treatment. Its really frustrating being in pain all the time and being unable to do the things that I like to do. Like writing in my blog!

Typing is pretty painful for me right now, so Ill keep this update short.

In the last two weeks I sold my Sleepover diorama and my Breakfast diorama! It's very thrilling on a lot of levels but also bitter sweet for me. The Sleepover was basically the first My Pretty Zombie ever. Breakfast, I thought, was my best. I get too attached I guess. I took a ton of pictures of the Sleepover before I had to pack them up for shipping yesterday.

I'm thrilled that they're going to good homes, but still sad to see them go. It's hard to say goodbye.

And I'm a sad panda.

Don't get me wrong. I feel so lucky and honored that people love them enough to buy them and display them. And I don't want to end up like one of those crazy old cat ladies, but with barbies. Well, it might be too late for that.

But I'll miss them. We had some good times.

I do have a lot of really good stories to tell you later about not wanting to eat tragedy food and Paul getting pelted with a baby shoe while gambling.

Hugs for now.

Box

So maybe I'm spending too much time on Regretsy, but is it just me, or are there vaginas everywhere?

I was having a terrible day at work on Friday until I saw this artwork on one of the boxes we cart around pee in. Either someone hasn't really seen one, or they've only seen the kind with teeth. Either way, it cheered me right the eff up.



I especially like the fire crotch effect.

When Pee Testers Go on Safari

So my work occasionally takes us on these fun and exciting outings. Well, normally it's baseball games and I would rather get poked in the eye with a stick than sit through one of those things. I'm not good with what they call "participating". When they decided to take us to the local zoo/wildlife preserve/breeding facility, I was slightly more interested. We were able to bring a guest, drive our own car (important so I could bolt out of there if my social anxiety started acting up) and they were serving lunch. So I was like "What the eff? I'll get up early on a Sunday"

But I hate being outside.

But I love pointing.

Paul (calling the Giraffe) : Here Kitty, Kitty!

Me : I don't think it's going to answer.

Paul (totally ignoring me): Kitty, Kitty?

Me: You can't call everything "kitty, kitty". Someone is going to hear you and think you're a crazy person.

Lunch was delightful. I love Cesar salad.

We crammed onto the tour trolley and I attempted to be joyful.

This is more realistic. It was hot as eff and I was starting to get grumpy.

This cheered me up considerably. I was screaming "OMG he's PEEING!" Paul was already taking a picture, bless his heart.

The animals were so used to people driving around in there. This giraffe had his ass nonchalantly planted practically inside the jeep.

After the driving tour, we made our escape. Don't know what this guy is. None of the cages had any information on them. I think some kind of bush baby. Paul thinks a badger.

We stopped and got a sweet tea on the way home and then I squeezed in a nap before doing some Barbie crap. Weekends are too dang short.

Catching up

Geez...Its been awhile. The weeks after Labor day mean a back log of specimens at work like you would not believe. I haven't even had the time to be disdainful of people still wearing white shoes.

The last two weeks have been kind of a painful blur. Lots of OT and nights with little sleep. I hardly have seen that hot guy that I live with. Been slacking on new crafting, my team jobs, watching gross movies, and responding to my friends calls and emails. I have been keeping up with my complaining though. Don't worry about that.

The highlight at work was weird pee I got sometime last week. I didn't take a picture because it was the smell that was unusual. It smelled delightful. Like putting too much vanilla in chocolate chip cookie dough and eating it out of the bowl delightful. I passed it around and we decided we wanted to track down this person and rub all over them. It wasn't really pee, it was perfume as the test would later show. I still would like to know what brand. It was magical.

(If you haven't seen the movie/read the book "Perfume", I must insist you do so.)

Anyway, one more example of weird things people do. If it is the same color as pee, they think it will pass as pee. It's always meet with some uncertainty though when someone says "OMG smell this!"

I did managed to squeeze in a great b movie called "Hell's Ground". It's a Pakistani Zombie movie and everything I expected it would be and more. We also saw Final Destination in 3d which was awesome and sent me into a panic during the car ride home. Paul teased me relentlessly, of course. I'm plenty scared enough of escalators and car washes already, I don't need to be worried about dying doing those things anymore than I already do. Oh and those moving walk ways, get the eff out. Whats more embarrassing than being a grown ass woman clinging to the railing and then hopping/stumbling like a toddler at the end?

Anyway, I guess that covers everything. I'll try and do something interesting this weekend to talk about.

Hugs!

Work Haikus

Although I've had this job for years...and I do the same thing every damn day, (with only slight variations in the amount of urine I handle) its never boring. I'm so busy that the night goes by pretty quickly and I really only have time to reflect on the days events when I'm driving. I try not to write haikus at night when I'm coming home, for some reason, its harder to count in the dark. Mostly its when I'm chainsmoking and drinking coffee before I clock in. Or when I'm chainsmoking on my break or at lunch.

Here is the newest...



Today I found a

cockroach leg in someones pee.

How did it get there?

Not work related, but reflected my morning

Oni drank coffee

It was my second cup I

hope she doesn't die

My Job In Real Life

So some of you know that this is what I do at my day job...I'm the night supervisor in a toxicology lab....I test pee for drugs. I spend half the day pouring from bigger jars into little tiny cups to run on a giant analyzer.

this is where you don't want to stick your face.

end of the night...these are all full of pee

These are the evil sisters. They're like the kids I never had. I had to tell them to stop hitting each other long enough to take this picture. They ask me important non work related questions like " Is a barracuda a snake or a fish?" and "why can't pregnant people drink coffee or dye their hair?" They draw me weird pictures on post its.
One of them was also the inspiration for this Work Haiku

She says "Is this poop?"

I won't look in specimens

I say "go ask Mike"

I was hoping to get some pictures of some really icky pee, but of course on the day I bring my camera, I didn't really see any. Plus I didn't want to touch my camera with dirty gloves...eeww.