Zombie Prom

One more reason why working nights sucks ass...not only do I miss out on most of my husbands shows, I'll be missing the zombie prom????!!! Life is so unfair!
Maybe I will wear my zombie prom outfit to work in protest. And chase my co workers around the lab. If you live in SF, you should go. And then tell me how cool it is. I am a sad monkey.

2/6 DNA Lounge 9pm

Anne Boleyn Zombie

Anne is my latest My Pretty Zombie doll. She has been a huge ass pain...I spent days searching the Internet for a period outfit. After some research and checking all my normal barbie clothes venues, I discovered the Barbie Princesses of the World collection. The England princess had the right clothes, but was super pricey. I found one on ebay not in the box and anxiously awaited her arrival. I had another Barbie set aside to be Anne. She was a brunette with jointed wrists that I thought would be perfect for holding a severed head. I just needed the dress.

When the princess Barbie arrived, I found that the bitch was sewn into the clothes! Damn expensive-ass-just-for-show collector barbies!

I spent another week trying to figure out what I was going to do. I couldn't fully paint her or use the body I wanted because I couldn't take her clothes off. And she was a blond. I thought about dying her hair, but then I couldn't take her clothes off.

So I switched heads.

Removing barbies head seems simple, but actually its got this pronged pokey device holding it on. Probably born out of necessity due to evil brothers everywhere.
From the little I've learned about barbies I knew that boiling water solves everything so I tried that first. It was magic!

Then with the new head attached, I attempted to sever it at the neck. I have giant scissors that work great for cutting off limbs and such, but they didn't do crap for cutting off a head. I tried using a serrated steak knife and that didn't work either.

So basically, I whined for a week until my husband got out the hack saw and cut it off for me.

Now shes done. And doesn't she look pretty?

Driving haikus

So it takes me about a half an hour to drive to work. I have satellite radio, but only listen to the new wave channel. I have my smoking planned out geographically. I get a little bored sometimes.
I started making up haikus as I was driving...here are a few examples:

black plastic trash bags
by the roadside, I wonder
arms, legs, or torso?


I hate windchimes and
people who sell them, their dogs
living in campers

I have this weird thing
people that don't wear shoes think
they're better than me

Dogs

These are my dogs...Lula, Oni, and Chico/Sammy. Lula is 13, diabetic and generally very unpleasant to be around. Chico we got from someone who didn't want him anymore. He was already named Chico when we got him, but we started calling him Sammy Seizure when he started having random fits a few years later. He also answers to Mr. Awesome or Jackass. He's 12. Paul pretends to bite me and Sammy loses it...hes all barking and back hair. Paul thinks this is tremendously funny, but I can only take so much loud shrill noise. I'm always the bad cop in our house.

Oni we got from the shelter. Its right by my work and I HAD to stop that day and see this poor, sad, shaking sack leaning up against the fence. I can't believe I fell for that act. She's 4 and loves squeaking toys against your face. Shes also afraid of cameras so not to0 many pictures of her and her hi-jinks.