Monday, October 4, 2010


Paul and I had to have Lula put to sleep this morning. It was really hard on both of us, and I really thought I had prepared myself for this since her diagnosis of bladder cancer 4 months ago.

This picture was from a few years ago, probably right before we found out about her diabetes. She looks so dang happy! She's been so sick for so long, I almost forgot she ever looked like this.

I kept putting the decision off because she still loved to eat so much. You could almost set your watch by her when it came to pokey time. Thats what we called it at 11am and 11pm when she would get fed and her insulin shot. She would start barking and hopping around. Even when she went totally blind and would run into things. Our lives have revolved around this schedule for the past 4 years. I really don't know what we're going to do now.

This picture was from when we lived in Nashville. The dogs had never seen snow before. Neither had I really. It looks like shes been eating it here. She wasn't afraid of anything.

This is when Paul took them all to the beach. When they went to the river, she was always the first one to go barreling into the water. She never looked, she just jumped.
The house feels so empty now. She was a loud, huge presence. Haven't been able to stop crying all day.
Paul stayed with her until the end. I had to leave the room because I was afraid my crying would upset her. So I kissed her and told her to be a good monkey and that mommy loved her very much. I went out to the car and cried and cried.
The wind started up and picked up a swirl of leaves in a little twister and then stopped. Somehow I felt that it was her leaving me.
I know she's in a better place now and no longer in any pain. Someplace where its the good part of pokey time all the time, sleeping on pillows, and running in apple orchards.
I've had her since she was 6 weeks old. She was my baby for the last 14 years, even in the end.
I miss her more than I thought I could.
Thought I would repost this Lula story from last summer in honor of her and what a total ass she could be.
Sleep well, Lula, mommy loves you forever.


  1. I'm sorry to learn of Lula's passing. I had to put my pet down three years ago. I found it helped to get out of the house as much as possible and keep busy. Hang in there.

  2. Thank you. I stayed home from work yesterday, but I'm going back today. Could barely sleep last night, too quiet without her snoring and heavy breathing and what not.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear about your Lula. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

  4. Thanks Jackson. My eyes are practically swollen shut from crying. I'm totally a hot mess.

  5. How terrible for you. I'm so, so sorry. Your post shows how much you love Lula.

  6. I am sorry to hear about your baby:( Love you!!! Email me if you need anything and I will just make you laugh and talk about fashion plates!

  7. I've been reading your blog since about last year, and enjoyed the Lula story when you first posted it. She sounds like a funny girl. Sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sure those apple orchards and fluffy pillows don't compare to how much she enjoyed being with you, but it sounds like she had a full fun life.

  8. Kimberly- Thank you. All the love and support we have had has made it more bearable.

    Rayvenwoodmanor- I really appreciate the love. Chatting with you about barbies and fashion plates was the only thing that made me forget for a little while.

    Misty- She did have a long full life. I was only 22 when I got her as a little tiny evil puppy. She was so small, I could hold her in one hand. But so evil. She chewed through everything including soda cans and my favorite high heeled docs. I feel like we kind of grew up together. I miss the hell out of her

  9. .............

    I wish I could hug you.