So as I was saying, after the hooker rock, I dragged him into a store that was a combo costume shop/stripper outlet/ Porno store. I bought some hair ties with syringes on them.
After that, Paul wanted to go see some gas station made from 3 trees.
I had convinced Paul that there was an actual fort in Fort Bragg. I even told him about the field trip they took us on in elementary school. So we set that as our new destination.
On the way we stopped at a skivey rest area where I took one step out of the car and fell on my ass. Luckily my bad arm kept me from doing a full face plant. I just kind of laid on the ground laughing. Some white trash lady smoking outside her rv was giving me hard looks.
Paul is so used to my inherent clumsiness, that there was only a brief flash of annoyance across his face before he helped me up.
Back on the road. Made it Fort Bragg. Drove along the coastline searching for the actual fort. Stopped to consult the map at a potential murder site.
Realized it was fort Ross that I had been to as a kid, not fort Bragg. Oops. Passed 3 creepy psycho beachside hotels that I wanted to stay at. All had hot tubs. Paul deemed them " not creepy enough" so we decided to visit the tattoo museum while we were I'm town. This was still boring to me, but mostly because I had seem a two headed devil baby in a store window as we were walking and I became obsessed with getting it.
(he wants me to mention that there was a huge anatomically correct charcoal drawing of a naked lady in another window)
" I want the two headed baby!". I hissed.
Paul was busy analyzing the antique tattoo machines and marveling over the fact that the technology hadn't changed since the 20s. He's kind of an electronics nerd.
Finally drug him away and to the two headed demon baby store. Bought one from some excessively stoned sales girls.
It's so awesome! Don't be jealous.
So seems how there was no fort to visit our new plan was to hit up starbucks #2 and head to some place called Piercy by nightfall.
We drove down highway one and the coast was really pretty although I'm so not into that sort of thing
Of course I had to get devil baby shots at the beach.
We drove past a sad seaside cemetery with a broken down sign. Right next to a KOA. I made Paul turn around and go back.
We kept driving. Paul hates my hipstamatic app. Hates it! Even tried to talk me into bringing my REAL camera. But somewhere along the way he started to even like it. Then he was nagging me to take pictures of everything.
"look theres a log with a hole in it"
"take a picture of that tsunami warning sign"
"theres a dead squirrel in the road. Do you want a picture?".
"no, I see enough of those when I'm driving to work and back."
He was quiet for a second.
"maybe I've been watching too much Dual Survival, but I keep thinking we should go back and get it. We could use it's fur, meat, use it for bait, whatever"
And this was all before 5 o'clock.
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