Tuesday, June 30, 2009

New Contest!

Lots of super exciting stuff in July: My 7 year wedding anniversary, my 35th birthday, and my 1st anniversary on Etsy! Yay!

Because of all these exciting milestones I decided to have a super awesome new contest!

The winner will receive a package of fabulousness from my dearest teammates Etsydarkteam, probably some parasite pals (because I know how much you guys love that stuff), and Madge, a My Pretty Zombie Doll!

You can see more pictures and read her story here.

Most of you that read this know that my life consists of Zombies and Pee. So I would like to hear some of your good pee stories, because really, how could you ever get tired of that?

Please post your entries here in the comments. Make sure you send me your email address so I can find out where to send her. The winner will be chosen by random number generator on Sunday July 12 at 12 am pacific.
Please try to keep it pg-13 though...my mom reads this!

Good Luck everyone!


  1. hahahaa You are so amazing! Congrats on all the anniversaries (and bday) hmmmm Pee stories.... We had a guy come in that was so hungover once, he neglected to tell the guy about to tattoo him this... Well needless to say he passed out and peed himself.... then when he woke up he was all disoriented as to where he was...and sitting in his own piss... ick.

  2. Nice one, Jamie! Wet and Icky!

  3. Alrighy, you might want to make sure that you are sitting down because for one, it's really gross and two, well it was just too funny!

    I was standing in line at the grocery store and this guy in front of me was giving the cashier a hard time for some price difference. But the thing was, he was really dirty looking, hair all over the place and gross okay - more like a hippie that hasn't bathed in months. Well, next thing I know I started to smell something. I'm standing behind my cart so it took me a sec to realize that there was a puddle under him along with some poo.

    OH MAN! That was the grossest thing I have ever experienced. Someone doing a #1 & a #2 standing in line at the grocery store. Believe me, we cleared that aisle reallllllllllll quick and the poor kid that had to come and clean it up! I woulda made him clean it up himself!

  4. BTW congrats on all the wonderful anniversaries and birthday coming up! Hope they all go great for you! Zombie cake .... I gots to see that!

  5. Ewwww...#1 with #2 in it is the worst!

  6. Count me in.
    Most of mine are not PG-13, so I'll do my best!

    A couple of New Year's ago, my husband and I were walking home from the bar, a whole 2 blocks.
    Hey, its a long walk when you have had about 6 martinis.

    I decided I had to pee, right then and there,
    and luckily I had a dress on.

    I thought I was being slick as I crouched down behind a bush next to a huge building.

    My husband screamed, "LOOK!!!"
    I looked up to where he was pointing,
    and there was a monster sized silhouette
    shadow of me crouching with a stream going.

    My extremely drunk ass decided to pee right next to, and practically on top of, a landscape light. It projected me in not such a pretty light, and it was one hell of a busy street.

    I'm smart. hahahhaa.

    Congrats on all this wonderful stuff coming up for you! I love, love, love your work!

  7. like peeing on a jumbo-tron...Awesome!
    and thanks for the love!

  8. Well I lived in Alaska for two years, I mean way out in Denali. It was super remote, only accessible by bush plane, horseback, or dogsled in the winter. My cabin was near a marshy lake area and we kept our outhouse about 1/2 a mile away for safety and smell reasons (shit draws bears). Anyway, when I'd wake up at night and just had to pee I wouldn't want to walk the ways to the outhouse (freakn cold and again, bears or wolves). So I got very good at peeing in a coffee can. I have great aim when sober. Uhh some splashing after a few beers. Also, when late August came, it would start getting cold enough to freeze liquids in the outhouse. By September, the snow line moves down the mountain and you have to start (I shit you not) chopping the pee sickle that is growing up out of the latrine hole. We kept an axe just for frozen pee. There's my pee in Alaska story. I want that Zombie doll... that's just cool.

  9. Great story! I think "pee sickle" is my new favorite word...I'm going to try to use that at least 10 times today.
    Frozen pee is my favorite kind...at work we get it shipped in from all over the country and sometimes it will have a big chunk of pee- ice floating in the middle. Plus it cuts down on the smell.
    Warm pee on the other hand freaks me out. You can feel it through your gloves and the specimen jar and its too hard to pretend like someone didn't just expel it.
    Now I'm grossing myself out!

  10. OMG! These stories are awesome! I wish I had a good one to share!!

  11. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my father took me to my grandparent's farm. They had a huge fishing pond out there, so we packed up my freakin' sweet Snoopy fishing pole and headed out to the pond. I didn't realize that once we got out there, there was no place to pee, and at that time I had never went outside before. I started to cry, wondering how in the world I would be able to pee by squatting, without ending up with pee all over my clothes. My dad decided to help me, by holding me over a tiny little bush. The bush was a freakin' baby evergreen tree though, so I cried while he held me over the itchy thing to pee, 'cause it felt like ants were crawling all over my butt. I still get laughed at for that. Any time I am with family outdoors and have to use the bathroom... they make sure to remind me to find a little evergreen tree.


    Congrats on all the groovy things this month! :D


  12. I think the only time I've ever peed outside was at a party and my friend and I didn't realize that we were peeing on a hill and it was slowly making its way down to all the party goers...
    Hugs Aly!

  13. Mine is not that great, but it is kinda funny, and just happened last night. We were going to meet up with my brother for the 4th, and we had to go to the country to his friend TJ's house. I have never been to her "city"--or at least I thought I have never been there--and I was getting nervous trying to find the right streets to turn on. We went around a curve, and I looked to my right and excitedly yell at my husband "OH MY GOD! I KNOW WHERE WE ARE! I PEED IN THAT FIELD!!!". He looked at me like I was on crack, and I had to explain that during on of the many drunken roadies my friends and I go on, I had to pee really bad, so we found a field, and I did my business and I actually left my underwear there. I feel like a dog getting excited about a marked tree. It happens a lot to me...=P

    Happy birthday, wedding anniversary and Etsy anniversary!

    My e-mail is kookyspookyart@yahoo.com <3

  14. Its nice to never be lost! I hope someone didn't find your underwear and report it as a crime scene! THAT would be embarrassing!

  15. Yeah, I was always scared of that...hee hee. Also, I forgot, but I was telling my hubby abou the pee stories, and he told me that I should share with you all how last night when we were shooting off fireworks, our dog, Zero, decided to pee on my husband's foot. It was pretty funny. =P

  16. HaHaHa! I'm sure you're husband didn't think it was that funny at the time!

  17. *peeks her head timidly out*
    When I was 5 I was peeing in an outhouse & fell in...still have problems if I have to go in an outhouse & I will do anything to avoid the portapotties

  18. LOL, what a good topic for people to have to post about to win. I've sort of have three pee stories...

    Camping was a good friend of my families when I was a young girl, too young enough to know how to 'cop a squat' as my mother called it. So on the first day of camping my mother took me out and taught me how to cop a squat. I thought I had it down, the whole squating thing, legs spread to prevent pee on the legs, that sort of thing. No problems, copping a squat was easy! So the next day cometh and I found a nice lil area, fully surrounded by all sorts of greenery to hide my act...good to go, right? YEAH!! Copping a squat turned out to be simple even if there were pieces of greenery and unknown objects touching my skin, but my mother never told me about stinging nettles either...and well, my VAG-JJ will never forget her!!! Stinging nettles had their way with my girly parts and off to the hospital we went!...I hardly ever cop a squat in woodsy areas anymore :P

    On another pissing note:

    Here in town there is a girl who we call 'pissing Jenny'. There have been multiple, and when I say multiple, I mean 15 plus different men who have proven this story correct. Pissing Jenny makes her way around town, usually drunk and pisses in EVERY bed she sleeps in...even if its a couch. Whereever this grrrl lays her head, she leaves a urine puddle. So when my new bf and I got together she got brought up. Same ol' story, he let her stay the night at his house, years ago, and gave her the couch. She made her way, drunk into his bedroom and when he woke up, sure enough there was pissing Jenny along with her puddle! I can't tell you the countless times I have overheard people telling the same story about this girl...

    ...ok, so what does this girl Jenny have to do with me you ask?...

    Well, I am Jenny too and since I have heard about 'pissing Jenny' I have pulled a 'pissing Jenny' twice myself!!! One morning I woke up in a wet bed, after drinking entirely too many 'Burly Temples' and at first I thought it was perhaps 'that time of the month'...that was just my drunk eyesite--my sheets are red :P I found a water bottle all wrapped up in the blankets so I don't know if I actually pee'd the bed but I'm pretty positive I did. Only 3 short weeks later, after another night with my 'Burly Temples' I awoke once again in my own funk...weird thing about this time was that there was no water bottle and I remember actually doing it and thinking I was on the toilet!!!

    Needless to say, I am now a 'Pissing Jenny'!!!! Hooooorah for peeing in your own bed at age 32!!!!!

    Fun contest Andrea!

    Love always,
    Pissing Jenny (agonysdecay)

  19. Lady Miss Tiff...poor thing!

    Pissing Jenny...you are effing hilarious!

  20. ::dies laughing:: We still love you, Pissing Jenny!! You just can't sleep with us during slumber parties. :D

    Actually, the peeing while you are asleep and thought you were in the bathroom is rather common, it just makes a person feel ridiculous at a certain age. lol!!