Winner Announced!

All right, you've all been through enough. Come to think of it, so have I!


When I started this contest, I thought I would only get a couple of responses...but 12 people were willing to write Haiku for this!! How freaking awesome! And then, you guys have to all write good ones. I kept expecting to get a crappy one, but they all ruled. Who knew there was such a plethora of zombie haiku writing talent out there. I was stunned. Every time someone submitted a new one, I would decide that was my favorite. And then I read the next one and then THAT one would be my favorite.

So what can I do when all these haiku are my favorite and I can only have one winner?

Draw a number out of a box. And then make up runner up packages for everyone else who entered. So if you entered this contest email me your mailing address at mrsevils@live.com and I will send you a little something from myself and probably a little something from my dark side team mates as well. Because you guys totally rule and I hope you had as much fun as I did, I think you're effin great!

so the lucky magic number is 12!
Congratulations RocketGirl!

And here is the winning haiku:

Jars of pee says she?

That causes limbs to fall off?

....Zombie pee thinks me!

so thanks all, for making my week so entertaining. Hugs!

Zombie Killer Giveaway!

Because I'm feeling all tired and crappy from working and my arm is about to fall the eff off from opening too many jars of pee in the last few weeks, I need some cheering up!
What better way to do that with a contest!
I love haiku almost as much as I love zombies.
Heres the deal you write a haiku...post it in the comments on my blog right here.
I will pick my favorite and that lucky someone will get a zombie killer pendant.
I will decide the winner on Thursday 4/30.
Any subject matter as long as its in the 3 line 5 syllable, 7 syllable, 5 syllable format
get to it!

Work Haikus

Although I've had this job for years...and I do the same thing every damn day, (with only slight variations in the amount of urine I handle) its never boring. I'm so busy that the night goes by pretty quickly and I really only have time to reflect on the days events when I'm driving. I try not to write haikus at night when I'm coming home, for some reason, its harder to count in the dark. Mostly its when I'm chainsmoking and drinking coffee before I clock in. Or when I'm chainsmoking on my break or at lunch.

Here is the newest...



Today I found a

cockroach leg in someones pee.

How did it get there?

Not work related, but reflected my morning

Oni drank coffee

It was my second cup I

hope she doesn't die

My Job In Real Life

So some of you know that this is what I do at my day job...I'm the night supervisor in a toxicology lab....I test pee for drugs. I spend half the day pouring from bigger jars into little tiny cups to run on a giant analyzer.

this is where you don't want to stick your face.

end of the night...these are all full of pee

These are the evil sisters. They're like the kids I never had. I had to tell them to stop hitting each other long enough to take this picture. They ask me important non work related questions like " Is a barracuda a snake or a fish?" and "why can't pregnant people drink coffee or dye their hair?" They draw me weird pictures on post its.
One of them was also the inspiration for this Work Haiku

She says "Is this poop?"

I won't look in specimens

I say "go ask Mike"

I was hoping to get some pictures of some really icky pee, but of course on the day I bring my camera, I didn't really see any. Plus I didn't want to touch my camera with dirty gloves...eeww.