Day one part two

So as I was saying, after the hooker rock, I dragged him into a store that was a combo costume shop/stripper outlet/ Porno store. I bought some hair ties with syringes on them.
After that, Paul wanted to go see some gas station made from 3 trees.



Totally boring.
I had convinced Paul that there was an actual fort in Fort Bragg. I even told him about the field trip they took us on in elementary school. So we set that as our new destination.
On the way we stopped at a skivey rest area where I took one step out of the car and fell on my ass. Luckily my bad arm kept me from doing a full face plant. I just kind of laid on the ground laughing. Some white trash lady smoking outside her rv was giving me hard looks.
Paul is so used to my inherent clumsiness, that there was only a brief flash of annoyance across his face before he helped me up.
Back on the road. Made it Fort Bragg. Drove along the coastline searching for the actual fort. Stopped to consult the map at a potential murder site.




Realized it was fort Ross that I had been to as a kid, not fort Bragg. Oops. Passed 3 creepy psycho beachside hotels that I wanted to stay at. All had hot tubs. Paul deemed them " not creepy enough" so we decided to visit the tattoo museum while we were I'm town. This was still boring to me, but mostly because I had seem a two headed devil baby in a store window as we were walking and I became obsessed with getting it.
(he wants me to mention that there was a huge anatomically correct charcoal drawing of a naked lady in another window)
" I want the two headed baby!". I hissed.
Paul was busy analyzing the antique tattoo machines and marveling over the fact that the technology hadn't changed since the 20s. He's kind of an electronics nerd.
Finally drug him away and to the two headed demon baby store. Bought one from some excessively stoned sales girls.



It's so awesome! Don't be jealous.
So seems how there was no fort to visit our new plan was to hit up starbucks #2 and head to some place called Piercy by nightfall.
We drove down highway one and the coast was really pretty although I'm so not into that sort of thing



Of course I had to get devil baby shots at the beach.




We drove past a sad seaside cemetery with a broken down sign. Right next to a KOA. I made Paul turn around and go back.









We kept driving. Paul hates my hipstamatic app. Hates it! Even tried to talk me into bringing my REAL camera. But somewhere along the way he started to even like it. Then he was nagging me to take pictures of everything.
"look theres a log with a hole in it"
"take a picture of that tsunami warning sign"
And finally
"theres a dead squirrel in the road. Do you want a picture?".
"no, I see enough of those when I'm driving to work and back."
He was quiet for a second.
"maybe I've been watching too much Dual Survival, but I keep thinking we should go back and get it. We could use it's fur, meat, use it for bait, whatever"
Whatever indeed.
And this was all before 5 o'clock.
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Day one Thursday

So wednesday night I was practically dying to get out of work early.
I whined and cried until my boss relented, but not before calling me an "unreliable asshole" for being so woefully unprepared for our vacation. I still had to pack, package up the last of my orders, make an effing bone etc.
I was up until 4:30 anyway.
Paul wanted to get an early start, but he didn't wake up until 10! By the time we left town, it was 1 o'clock.
And so it begins, our first stop: starbucks. I put way too much sugar in mine and only took little sips out of guilt for the next four hours. I also had a breakfast sandwich. Paul had nothing because, as you all already know, he never eats.
We headed north.
My sweet roadside attraction app had alerted me to the fact that there was a plaque commemorating prostitutes in Ukiah. This moved to the top of my "must see" list.
In high school, it was common knowledge that Ukiah was the Satanist capital of the world. I'm not sure how accurate of a fact that is, or what other cities it beat out for the title.
Just so you know.
The app only gave vague directions to the plaque. Only that was between so and so street on a rock in front of a building. We found it right away and it was awesome!



Just spent 2 hours writing all this shit down and it didn't save.
Totally pissed, more later



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So yeah

Tons of stuff going on. Lots of new tattoos and barbies and eyeshadow to talk about. But the really important news is that Paul and I are going on a road trip next Thursday. I told him I don't care where we go, as long as we can stay at the creepiest, most likely to be murdered at motels we can find.
Plenty of blogging about the never ending search for starbucks will ensue. Just a fair warning. I'll get to all that other stuff sometime
Hugs!


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Ghosts and home alone-ing it

So Paul has been in Florida for a work thing the past few days. Even though I have enormous piles of things to do, I'd rather sit around and bemoan my loneliness.
Last night Clint and I were texting and discussing ghost hunting.
I mentioned that I had noticed earlier when I had let the dogs out to pee, that all the patio furniture had been rearranged.
I know our back yard is not accessible. I certainly wasn't out there having a drunk furniture party. Clint suggested I put on Spanish tv to calm my nerves...it really works!
Anyway, I got another text from him tonight asking about the ghostly furniture moving.
I went out back to take a picture for evidence...
OMG is that an ORB?!?
I'm never going outside again!


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Makeup!

I haven't been talking about it much here, because I've been too busy making it!
There is one thing to be super excited about and that's my pal Erin's blog

http://www.ohhonestlyerin.com/archives/7341

Sorry for the uncouth linkage, but I just can't bring myself to get on my laptop these days, or as I like to call it...the pink dinosaur.

Anyway, Erin is giving away 5 pots of my eyeshadow to one lucky reader...so go and enter. And follow her blog while you're there because it's some kind of hilarious.

So while we are talking make up, here's a picture of me rocking some of my fx zombify line.
I'm wearing
Black Eye
Old Bruise
Rash
New Bruise.
The best part of this picture is that I went to work like this..both eyes! And no one said anything!
I totally had my " I just walked into a wall, no it's really because I wouldn't listen, he had to tell me twice" story down, but to no avail. No one was even mildly surprised or interested. Except for the temp I had to train that day unexpectedly...oops!
Not sure what I have to do to get some attention in that place...maybe set myself on fire?



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Tattoos and stuff

So Paul got me a gift certificate and an appointment to get tattooed for valentines day! Possibly one of the best gifts ever! He sees Clint ( my tattoo bud) more than I do seems how the tattoo shop is right next to the starbucks he frequents daily.
I'm in the process of getting my leg sleeve done. I forgot how long huge pieces drag out...I get so anxious in between sessions. I miss the instant gratification of small pieces.
So in case you missed it, here's my awesome giant fly.


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Vince

Sleeps like this right next to daddies face. A huge expanse of fat ass. I call him the white devil. Paul calls him an albino black panther.


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